Sky Sculptures Rage
by RandomDustBunnyzAngel
Summary: Statues don't wear pants, but I think it's necessary, especially if its as tall as King Kong. A sure stupid parody type thing -that is only a parody because it fits into no other category- for chap 536. Don't like bad jokes? Don't read.
1. Chapter 1

**Whoo! Mada-sama's back! Whoooooooooo! Whoooooo- *passes out* Oh yeah and HAPPY LATE EASTER! :D if you celebrated it, if you didn't...Happy chocolate eggs and marshmellow bunny day ^_^...Oh and Mortal Combate 2011 is fucking EPIC (the Australian kid that kicked my ass would agree, if the fucking network wasn't undergoing maintanance -4 days strait-, and there's nothing to do since it's 95 degrees with 100 percent humidity, hurray!)**

**Warnings: Foul language, weirdness, OOC-ness, Bad jokes, bad writing the typical Shnizit!**

**Thankies: Yuti-chan! C bcool444 (hiya!), QueenOfFanficworldlovegunner ( I should start doing this, QFFWLG but it looks like a word scramble) and Princess Zathura. If I had any talent I'd dedicate something to you, but it all sucks so.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own NARUTO, Masashi Kishimoto does! as well as TvTokyo. Support the official release, it will help Japan.**

**0 0 0**

In a forest full of Ewoks, a not so interesting but still so, event was taking place...No wait, wrong series, In a forest full of mutant animals, usually only seen in Sci-Fi horror fics (Armadillo with a dong) a not so interesting event was taking place.

Got this confused with Star wars for a second (Not the Prequels :/)

Iruka sighed loudly as he watched, Porno mustache and Nara guy leap off after Naruto. He thought he was weak, but really our little Kit is just stronger than ever. This is kind of like that time Gohan went off and trained with Dinosaurs.

Actually it's a lot like that.

Killer-Bee stepped through the waterfall, a hand over his head to try and protect his hair,"Aw fuck, he's gone already?," he cursed, not seeing Naruto anywhere in sight.

Inside his head, the eight tails was seething like a crazy old cat lady when somebody steps on her lawn_**,"I told you to watch him so he wouldn't run off! But no, no one ever listens to me, I'm just the giant elephant in the room nobody likes to mention or listen to,"**_ he roared.

_'Elephant? Dude you're an Ox-opuss,'_ His host thought back.

Hachibi sweated,"_**Fine, I'm the giant Ox-opuss in the room, happy now?,"**_

_'Yes,'_

Back in one man land, Iruka was staring at the Jinchuuriki warily,"You're Killer-bee right?," his voice made the Cloud nin hum, taking that as a sign Iruka continued,"I need you to do something for me,"

"Depends what it is," The rhyming switch is on subtle today.

_**"Oooh, you are so predictable!,"**_ Killer-Bee's eye brow twitched, though his over-all expression remained stiff.

"Please, if you could_...PLEASE_! Protect Naruto!," Iruka bowed deeply to the rapper (Just had a flashback to 'Behind The Music' for some reason).

Killer-bee grunted as he crossed his arms,"We haven't done the whole cliche fist bump thing in a while," he muttered.

"Huh?," The chuunin straitened himself.

"Put your fist up dude!,"

Iruka blinked and raised his fist, tan-white guy gansta` style,"Uh, like this?,"

No like you got hairy palms (I don't know where that came from... starting to smell like oranges and Tangelos for some reason, hmm)

As their fists touched, Killer-Bee grunted, "Ah, my heart senses are tingling, you're him," A smile sprouted and grew.

_**"You already broke your promise and let Naruto run off, how can you accept this guys request?," **_Hachibi is the bitch of this chapter, we've had the Stock characters and the filler. It is our only option after all.

_'If this guy couldn't stop him, than no one can,' _The Jinchuuriki thought back, as he spoke, "You're the guy in Naruto's heart,"

Okay seriously, could that sound anymore rainbow-esk? not in a bad way but in a guy wearing a Speedo, standing on a street corner, screaming ''It's fucking hot out here!'' way. (Those guys do exist, most of them are strait though)

"Is that supposed to be a metaphor?," Iruka asked, eyeing Killer-Bee in suspicion, as the man threw an arm around the brunette's shoulders.

"Nah foo', you see," He then faded into a long explanation. (That is both lazy writing and a transition :D)

"Ah I see," Iruka nodded in understanding.

We cut away to Naruto in the forest,"Whatever you did for him, is still in his mind," Killer-Bee's voice echoed as he shoved iruka's letter into his mouth, probably to get that Fiber goodness, You know I hear paper takes the same tole on the body as two sofa sized Cinna'mon buns, the ink can't be that great either.

we cut back to a Iruka, who bowed as Killer-Bee flew away.

_**"You're seriously going to follow Naruto off the island?,"**_ Eight tails rose an eye ridge

_'We are still technically training...Technically,'_ The cloud nin laughed shyly.

_**"You said technically twice,"**_ Hachibi narrowed his eyes,"_**The Raikage's going to tan your hide,"**_

_'Like I always say, learn by doing foo'!,'_

_**"You never say that!," **_

**0 0 0**

Castle of Old guys with no relevance is creaking like a wicker chair under a fat guy, only that scenario has twice as much ham and gravy involved.

"Got any Two's?," The fire Daimyo asked, as he and his fellow Feudal lords sat at a round table, each man holding a different number of blue playing cards.

"Go fish," The bird Daimyo laughed evilly. He did have two's, but he needed them, the Water Daimyo had like eight so it would even out in the end. For the water Lord anyway -he quirked an eyebrow- Wait.

"Damnit," Fire daimyo cursed drawing a card from the deck in the center of the table.

Outside the castle, Zetsu was leaping into action for a second time**, "Found 'em!,"** he yelled in joy, right before the Mizukage appeared and booted him in the chest with her stiletto.

"Hiya!," Mei exclaimed.

Poor Black Zetsu went flying back into the stone wall that surrounded the mansion, he landed with a sickening crack and a moan,"Ouch,"

"Hold it there, Akatsuki scum!," the red head ordered with a confident smirk as she landed, several ninja followed her lead and dropped down behind her.

**"This isn't going to turn out well for me. is it?,"** The plant man muttered, rubbing his aching jaw.

Kishimoto says no.

From outside they could hear the Go fish tournament continuing,"Fire, do you have any five's?," the Wind Daimyo's voice echoed.

Said Fire daimyo stuck his head out the window and looked down at Zetsu with a pleading expression,"If you're going to kill us can you please start with them?,"

**HQ!...CHICKEN!**

Raikage twitched furiously at the Hokage,"Good job, Tsunade, your plan failed and now he's heading out to the battlefield," he shouted.

"I still have my back up!," Tsunade roared, slamming her hands down on the table,"Is the barrier ready?," Mabui (It's a miracle!) looked away from her glare.

"Yes ma'am, the 36 layer, self repairing barrier has been set up around the entire area. Let's just hope Bee doesn't join him," she said. She will live to regret those words.

**0 0 0**

On some part of the spiky island was the barrier quick response team (Now with twenty percent quicker ninja :D), they were all in position, standing behind...It's a dude with a mustache.

What is it with Kishi and Mustaches?

"It's time for our barrier team to do its job!," The leader of the team yelled, his glorious facial hair blowing in the breeze,"We've shed blood, sweat and tears to create this marvelous barrier! No matter what happens, Do not let him through!,"

The others cheered and prepared for Naruto, who was quickly approaching.

"The transmission back to HQ will be mission accomplished!,"

The team cheered again.

"Where 'bout to turn this shit into Inuyasha!," A granny curl ninja smirked.

Resemblance.

And with all that hippe, Naruto must have put up quite the struggle right? He must have bounced off the barrier thinking it was nothing and slammed into a spike right? WRONG! Instead a giant black orb of power zoomed by, smacked the barrier causing it to crack and The Sannin, Kyuubi, fox chibi with firefly powers simply fell back and landed on some cliff.

Where did the black energy come from you may ask? (Well you didn't, but i did)

"BEE!," Naruto exclaimed happily as smoke puffed out of the giant Ox beast -who appeared out of NO WHERE-'s mouth.

What did you expect something fair? this Naruto, damnit! nothing is ever fair, only exciting.

"Uh oh," Mustache man felt a chill go down his spine, this was not good.

As the ground crew where crapping their pants in fear, cause that's what you do when you see extrodinarily large monsters, Naruto went Six paths mode again (I know he has lots of chakra now but...How is he not dead yet?) "I'll break the barrier, foo'! You push my tailed beast bomb through!," Ox-Bee and his spiky haired student-ish-person flew towards the barrier.

"EAGLE!," Naruto pushed the giant black orb that Bee burped up through the already damaged barrier.

The squad of identical sextuplets were losing their curly haired minds,"We can't repair the barriers fast enough!," one of them yelled.

Maybe next time they'll spring for a quick self rebuilding barrier, face it Dial up is shit, the Wifi is worth it (Unless you have a life)

"There is no choice," Goat man said as his pride shattered,"Mission FAILED!,"

The ninja behind him sweated (The real expression is un-describable, well somebody could, but only if you give them lots of pcp first)

Above them, Naruto and Killer-bee made it through the barrier,"FREEDOM BITCHES!," The blond yelled as they ran away.

This is why you need an ominous demonic aura around your barrier, it took Dog-boy over four-hundred chapters to get through Naraku's ( or was it three-hundred?)

Mustache guy dropped to his knees and cried,"No fair, they teamed up, nobody said they could do that," he sniffed.

We then follow our young hero and the rap master to a place that looks familiar, what with the numerous spikes sticking out of every nook, cranny and everything in between. Then again I'm sure every square inch of this island looks the same (Just like Texas, dirt, spiky shrub, lizard, dirt, spiky shrub, the Bush family, lizard)

"Wow, looks like we've landed on Yugi Moto's scalp," Naruto commented.

**0 0 0 **

The battle still hadn't started on Zatsu's end, as they stood staring at each other (My dog farted), grunting like pigs in a muddy field.

**"Hmm," **

"un,"

"Hn,"

"Go fish," Wind Daimyo smirked.

"Die!," Fire daimyo yelled, throwing his cards on floor.

Suddenly, Zetsu's plant sense tickled him, right in the ribs, metaphorically of course. That's where his Mizukage battle bruise is!

**"Huh, seems like the eight and nine tails have finally stepped out onto the battlefield,"** he rasped, his foot growing roots (that's actually cool) and burrowing down into the ground.

That moment is short lived, as we cut to White Zetsu, Yes apparently when Black Zetsu goes all Poison Ivy he spawns a white Zetsu. Either that or the two halves contacted each other, but the former sounds more fun.

Which ever way it went down, we get to see White Zetsu melting out of the ground anyway_, "Madara, it's time,"_ he said to the Masked man sitting all cool like on the floor.

Normally the fangirl within the authoress would be going berserk (It is right now), such as throwing chairs and screaming in joy, but she couldn't help but wonder why the ever powerful uchiha was on the ground and not sitting in a chair. What he can make masks and an army of millions of Zetsu` but he can't carry a Zabuton down there?

Oh yeah back to uh, White Zetsu who is now talking, surprise, surprise,"_Do we still need to capture the Daimyo?,"_ he asked.

"That will not be necessary, I wanted them to lure out the Nine tails, nothing more," Madara answered with a small shake of his head.

Is there something on the roof or is he sitting on the wall? That might explain the lack of cushion, gravity is a brutal bitch sometimes.

_"Aw but black Zetsu's about to fight the Mizukage! I really wanted to watch,"_ Plant men whine, wow who knew!

Our funky Uchiha stood up,"The Guerrilla tacts are still useful, tell Black Zetsu to try and capture the Mizukage and her troupe, it will be helpful if we can keep the forces split up,"

White zetsu nodded, beginning to faze back into the ground_,"Right, but what about you Tobi?,"_

Quit calling him Tobi, the small brained fans don't understand why you're doing it and just keep popping out theories! (There's a new one, apparently he's the sage of 6 paths in the body of an Uzumaki or Madara in the body of an Uzumaki, basically we just want an Uzumaki to be worth something more than what we've been told they're worth, which is Worm bait)

"I'm heading out, it's time I joined the battle," Madara said, coming to a stop,"But first," He looked at the sealing statue,"I need a substitute,"

For what, exactly?

**Hurray for Foreshadowing!**

This island makes kittens seem morbid, getting kind of sick of seeing it. There are new things to be seen though.

Like the TenTen who lay sprawled on the ground after the Magical golden Feather duster zapped her chakra,"Ugh, maybe that wasn't such a good idea," she groaned.

"No shit," The Medic nin healing her deadpanned.

Or Kitsuchi who stood on top of a pile of dead Zetsu clones,"Got the last one," he dropped the one he was holding.

You mean to tell me that such a small useless group took out almost 50,000 Zetsu' clones? That's so Kishi.

"Thanks Chouji!," The white haired cloud ninja praised the giant teen, completely ignoring the random man standing on his hand.

"This is so not over," Kakuzu said as he was pinned down by Chouji's massive fist.

Darui smirked,"Such big talk for someone caught under our thumb," Literally.

Unknown to these ninja, Madara had shown up in a-He doesn't swirl anymore does he? Though let's be honest he could've walked onto the battlefield wearing an ''I'm The Antagonist Kill Me If You Can'' T-shirt and no one would be any wiser. These ninja's suck.

"summoning technique," The Uchiha whispered.

This was apparently a very loud whisper though because a white haired stock ninja, turned around to see him standing there,"Oh no!," he exclaimed.

The magic words have been spoken! And now giant stone statue of 'Fuck' and stone and being very large appeared and towered over its summoner.

Yeah that's awesome, no other words can describe it, it's just awesome. But would it kill the Statue to put some pants on?

**End**

**my dad is going in for foot surgery this week so, wish him luck! Naturally that'll mean no parody next week but i will upload a oneshot for you guys! Mada/Kon-Yahi/kon scented :3 you guys like those pairings right?**

**Thank you for reading! Please review, favorite and all that good stuff! Bye!.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Heeeey! It's finally monday, I missed you guys, curse you seven day week hell, I don't care if there were puppies, Fourwheelers and video games about creating diseases, Mine was called Jessica Blackocalypse, (okay it was still fun).**

**Warnings: Bad jokes, Bad writing, Foul language, OOC-ness sort of, and weird**

**Thankies: Yuti-chan, QueenOfFanFicWorldLoveGunner (I think i've been spelling that wrong XD) Princess Zathura, a girl who's name I have forgotten, IcyBreeze7, Crescentrax and MusicalxButterfly, RDBA loves you all :3 (**_**That's**_** not creepy)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Masashi Kishimoto and Tvtokyo do, so no Suey Suey..Or Sookie, give me Eric anytime (True Blood refrence)**

**0 0 0**

Nothing like starting off a story where the last one ended. Under the moon! Of evil! Naruto and Killer-Bee were doing what everyone else has been doing since the war started, flying through the trees. Yeah, we got one chapter with the antagonist, makes me wish they were Klingons, cause, you know they actually showed up to do their evil deeds on a regular basis. Unlike our bad guys who (May or may not be Uncle Fester in disguise) go away for a while and advance the plot while we're stuck with stock characters and whatever Sakura is.

But enough with the nit picks, let's get back to the hopping!

"Man, he's glowing like a lightning-bug," Killer-bee said with a laugh of amusement, as he glided behind fire-fly mode Naruto.

"Isn't it a bad idea to go full on glow when we're right outside of a battle zone?," Hachibi asked.

"Yup," The cloud nin smirked.

"Make sure you don't fall behind, human torch or not if he gets too far ahead we'll lose him," The eight tails grumbled. Killer-bee shrugged but agreed.

If Naruto went on the battlefield alone, the Raikage would KILL his brother.

No doubt. Hell he was already in enough trouble for letting the little Jinchuuriki out of the sacred cave place.

At the front of the ''pack'', Naruto was glaring at the distant scenery,'You're a real asshole kid,' Kyuubi suddenly said, dragging us into Naruto's all but completely empty psyche.

"Well, well, well to what do I owe this special ice-cream treat, kyuubi?,"

Naruto asked the giant -very angry- fox as he crossed his arms.

"I've been living inside of you since you were born, and you are still as naive as when I was first sealed in you!," Kyuubi barked, eyeing his host.

"You must be especially lonesome if you call me here just to insult me," The blond scoffed turning on his heel,"It's sweet and all but I'm busy," he made to leave, making the nine-tails roll his eyes.

"This is just like the Sasuke rescue arc all over again! You couldn't stop one kid from defecting, how do you expect to end an entire war of a million strong?," Naruto stopped, "You'll end up just like Nagato if you go through with your plan to drop in and save the day, your friends are already fighting to protect you, if you show up, it will only drag you closer to the day you become completely overwhelmed by hatred," Kyuubi said with a small growl.

The Gennin clenched his fists and looked at his beast from over his shoulder,"Don't underestimate me."

Don't you love it when scenes like that fade into a flashback? If not then ,how are you a fan of this series?

_Flashback!_

In front of the ninja academy for little ninja kids, groups of said ninja's to-be stood around a large circle that had been drawn in the dirt with a stick. But not any stick it was a magical stick that the Hokage's used to create their fancy dirt circles. The history in this village is so amazing!

Anyway.

Our young Bart Simpson stood, stroking his chin, picking apart everyone around him, 'Which one's it going to be?,'BR/DIV

Really he only saw one opponent, Sasuke Uchiha, who was angsting in the corner of the yard next to a bunch of squeeing fans and their teacher Iruka.

"Um Iruka-sensei?," A small pudgy child tugged on his sleeve.

"What is it Chouji?," The chuunin asked, not taking his eyes off of his clipboard.

The chibi Akimichi frowned,"Do we have to do this? I really don't want to beat up my friend," he said in a small voice.

So this is what recess is like for ninjas!

Iruka's stopped writing mid stroke, pacifist Shinobi, what a weak generation,"You aren't going to beat him up, this is just a traditional Shinobi spar!," He explained with a nervous smile, "Even the Hokage's did this with their friends so they could grow strong!,"

Yes, but they're dead. Is that really the greatest example to give these kids, Spar to get stronger and some day ,you too, might die in some battle where you should've won? Or get your ass kicked or end up in some insanely long coma?

"Probably wasn't my best plan," Iruka sweated.

Tired and ready for a nap, tiny Shikamaru turned his back to his teacher and started walking,"This is such a drag, come on Chouji," he called to his friend, Chouji looked worried but followed after him anyway.

"Man he has no determination at all!," Little Kiba said exasperated.

"Yeah he'll never get anywhere if he keeps being so lazy," The no-name girl beside him spoke over the little Aburame that opened his mouth to speak.

Kishi does know what Irony is!

As they talked Tiny Ino and Sakura were chattering away like little birds about how Shikamaru is bothersome and Chouji is spineless. You know, usual miniature demon talk.

Naruto stepped into the ring with Sasuke, he did his signature 'I really need a bathroom' pose as he yelled,"Alright, time to kick butt!,"

"Good luck, N-naruto," Tiny Hinata said quietly from the sidelines.

Oh my Kami she doesn't have eyes!

"Hold it! You have to make the symbol!," Iruka said, making a hand sign. That is the universal symbol for 'You're going to get beat' well that and the bird but, that's a Hidan thing.

Naruto grinned,"Who cares about symbols I have a Kick-Sasuke's butt itch!," he pumped his fist.

The chuunin blinked in confusion,"That doesn't even make sense!," on any level.

"Come on!," Naruto yelled, throwing a punch at Sasuke, who easily side stepped it and stuck out his foot to trip the blond, he threw himself on top of his opponent, throwing him off balance. Supreme douchiness! But enough about Jay Leno (Zing!).

"Ouch," Naruto whined.

Do you see how easy it is to push somebody off balance when they're standing flat? Now you know why it's a bad idea to wear those 'Shape up' shoes (Emergency room form-*gender: girl - injury*ailment*Ect: Bruising of the Tail bone - Cause of Injury* : Attempting to stand motionless while wearing Shape ups, it's impossible!.)

Awkward situation. Between two young (Eleven?) year old boys, one sitting on top of the other, staring creepily at the smaller one under him

"You know, if you always stare that intensely you'll pop a blood-vessel," Naruto said.

Sasuke twitched and stood up, shooting one last glare down at him before stepping over him.

"Sasuke wins," Iruka said witting down the results,"Hey before you leave you have to make the harmony symbol," he called out, noticing sasuke walking off.

Naruto shot up,"I hate you!," he yelled, pointing an accusing finger at the Uchiha's back.

"Good," Sasuke threw over his shoulder.

Iruka frowned,"Shinobi spars are a sacred tradition," Naruto flinched as the teacher towered over him,"Now harmonize damnit!,"

The blond stood up, dusted himself off and extended his hand to the other, who did the same.

It seemed to be going well, like peaches cream, until the two caught the other by the shirt and growl in each others faces.

Seems like the typical school boy bully-Vs-bullied fight scene.

"You wanna fight for real, loser?," Sasuke snarled.

"Bring it asshole," Naruto shot back.

Naughty, naughty children. Somebody needs to Hot sauce those potty-mouths.

Iruka scowled,"Enough already!," the two boys released each other.

The judgmental children on the sidelines ''Boo'd'' at Naruto. He stuck out his tongue and leaped off, landing behind the school fence, he slide down into a sitting position.

"I was hoping for violence and I get this instead? Man what a load," he grumbled.

Nothing like a little apathy in our Shonen.

_End flashback!_

"And what happened to Sasuke?," Not now Kyuubi can't you see our little kit is all sad now, "He defected, he abandoned the village to gain power. He was consumed by his hatred, you are not the God send you believe you are," Rikudo would be ashamed!,"You are a useless weakling that will never understand or eradicate anyone's hatred," Nine-tails smirked.

Completely true, if his enemy doesn't bend to the power of love and see things his way they die, we lost some of the most badass characters in this series because of that.

"So are you done?," Naruto finally spoke, casually walking towards the Kyuubi.

I like how Naruto is being used as a fig leaf to hide Kyuubi's Mini Kyuu. Nobody wants a repeat of what happened with the Armadillo.

"You expect me to just stand idle?," Are you wearing shape ups? if not then it wouldn't hurt.

"When did I say I did? If you did that my reputation around the demon community would be sullied, my host would be Sakura," Kyuubi inwardly groaned, Sakura, that was going to give him nightmares.

C'mere," Naruto extended his hand towards the Torii that doubles as a blunt guillotine`/Stocks combo. Very mid evil up in here.

Nine-tails circled around himself before stretching his neck, watching his host curiously. The top of the Torii-thing shook and fell on his neck, trapping him.

This is why Naruto and Kyuubi will NEVER be friends. It's like a bad relationship, there's a lot of violence.

"You're the fool!,"

Kyuubi glared,"You can't even help your best friend!,"

Naruto ...Wait, wait, how did he get even with Kyuu's eye, did he jump up or did he suddenly grow a foot and a half?,"If risking my life to save Sasuke and end the war is foolish, then so be it," he stepped back and walked away.

Most people are so ungrateful to have such awesome Gary-stu powers, but not you, not anymore(1)

Kyuubi pulled and tugged against the headlock, his back feet planting on the sides to get leverage,"I am not going to sacrifice myself for your stupid bull headed-ness!," he called, twisting his head to the side.

"I Expect a written apology!," Naruto's echoed as he disappeared.

"Where's my big bottle of booze when I need it," Kyuubi grumbled as he went limp.

**Random Time!**

It was a dark stormy night in the middle of Scenic nowhere, also known as Madara's base (This was before the whole, "I'm gonna stab my comrad through the heart to kill Danzo")

Inside a blacked out base where not even snakes dared venture, the only female member of Team Hawk was making rounds, with her the only flickering source of light in the black void called a safe zone, a small candle that was oh so slowly burning itself out.

"Uh oh," she muttered, as she stepped through a draft wavering the already tiny flame. She still had an hour left on her shift and she was still a good ways away from the room she and the other three members of team hawk shared.

She didn't want to spend the next hour alone in the dark and then get hurt because she fell over something, probably one of Suigetsu's shoes, he did always leave them out in the hall. She really didn't.

But sicne fate just hated her with all of its fate-liness, finally the flame flickered for the last time before it went out, all that was left was a dot that was once the wick a trail of smoke. Karin blinked, "Great," she sighed.

She quickly found the wall and slowly continued making rounds, it wasn't actually that bad, she couldn't see her own hand in front of her face -she tried- but she could hear everything more vividly, even the boys snoring down the hall sounded louder...

Wait. Oh she was such an idiot. It wasn't the sudden heightening of one sense she was just getting closer to the noises.

But there were only two snoring and Sasuke _didn't_ snore.

Which meant he was up! Which meant if she found him -or he found her which always happened- she'd get to be alone with him -no Suigetsu, no Madara, no Zetsu, no Juugo- in the DARK!

The medic hastily pulled off her glasses and stuffed them into her shirt, putting on her best scared face, even if Sasuke couldn't see it, it was always good to have it on.

"SASUKE!," Karin screamed, hesitantly leaving the wall behind to better her chance of running into to little Uchiha,"It's sooooo scary," she said, trying to keep herself from flopping all around like a fish.

Just as she expected, she ran into a firm, warm chest,"Oh Sasuke, I knew you'd protect me," ''Sasuke'' wrapped his arms around her.

But something was different.

Something was..._Off _about him.

Since when did Sasuke have muscles? and when did he start going completely shirtless?

_"You have soft hands,"_ The familiar voice of white Zetsu made Karin's eyes snap open, she felt a hand prope the glasses that had slipped from their place and fallen to her hip -the tightness of her shirt was the only reason they hadn't fallen-,**"**_What is this?,"_

"AAAIII!," the red head screamed, punching Zetsu in the gut and staggering away in the dark. She bounced off of the walls, only stopping after she face-planted -HARD- when her foot caught on one of Suigetsu's sandals.

Said Mist ninja poked his head out from behind the wall, he moved his hand from the candle he was holding so he could see,"Did you get it?," he asked with a wide grin. When White Zetsu nodded he smirked, "Can't wait to use this as blackmail," The plant man chuckled, "Zetsu and Karin sitting in a tree K-I-,"

"What are you two doing up? it isn't time for shift change yet," Both of the ninja froze in their spots when they heard the voice, their hearts pounding, damn Uchiha! was it like a rule to try and kill the subordinates?~!

_"Um nothing sir," _white Zetsu said, he and Madara may have gotten along but Zetsu still refused to do something that might make him mad, in fear he too might end up in a giant hole being smacked with newspapers like some of his many clones.

"Well then go back to bed, Suigetsu your up next and don't forget to bring extra candles," Madara waved his finger in a 'Scolding mother' way.

"Yes sir," The white haired boy nodded, stiffly walking away from the two.

Madara watched him leave with his Sharingan,"Kids these days," he grumbled in disgust.

_**"MEOW!,"**_

"Shit," Zetsu smiled a kitty like grin, she was back and on her way.

Madara tried to quickly faze through the floor, but the cat that had ruined his lab, bath tub and numerous pairs of shoes, literally dubbed Konan kitty, appeared! Covered in sealing tags! HIS WEAKNESSES! Cute fuzzy kitties and things that wouldn't allow him to teleport!

The little kitty padded over to Madara, who was still fazing, and smirked when he was in range. She extended her claws and pounced on his chest, digging her sharp weapons into his chest and also stopping him mid faze.

_Super Konan-kitty infection!_

He kicked his legs which were already on the other side of the floor before letting himself go limp. He was stuck.

Zetsu, already knowing what to do, quickly dissapeared to free his master.

"I hate you," Madara glared.

"Nyu,"

**END!**

**(1) Hurray for SAW refrences!**

My papa's surgery went well! He can't move his second to last and last toe though, oops. There also appears to be a lot of flooding in the future._Thank you for reading! Please Review, favorite and all that good stuff! Bye!_

**(Did anybody else watch episode 211? I felt so sad at the end T_T, but that always happens. Curse you Kishi for making some of the Saddest backstories EVER)**

**(This coming saturday May 21st NYC is holding a Japan Day in Central park, to help raise donations, remember even if you can't donate Money you can always donate your time to spread the word)**


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